Cliché
by RenaRoo
Summary: Raph brings home a victim of a harsh crime. So why do his brothers find it so amusing? One-Shot. Honorable Mention for Best Raphael Scene in the 2009 Fanfiction Competition


Random fact which has nothing, I mean absolutely _nothing _to do with the story you are about to read: albino dolphins appear pink due to the red blood vessels beneath their colorless skin.

Now that that is out of the way, I'm Turtlefreak121 with yet another random update hoping you all will enjoy this fun little quip I've had for some time now ;P

TMNT, Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, Splinter © Mirage Studios  
story © Turtlefreak121

**Cliché**

"So you like picking on people who can't defend themselves?" I demand, I feel the foam within the corners of my mouth.

I'm stark crazy mad. I can't believe how these goons have completely torn apart their victim. For what? Money? Hardly worth the pain they're now feeling, I assure you. If they are still willing to cause harm to others after tonight then they're a few more screws loose than I first thought.

"D-Don't kill us!" one asks miserably. He scoots backward on his rear until his back hits the wall.

I spin my Sai. I should. I wouldn't have a problem with it if I did.

But I don't have time. I look to see the victim shriveled up under the battered coat. No doubt those cuts and gashes are bleeding still. There's no doubt I need to get to a doctor and quick – hospital's too far away.

I groan.

Do I really need to bring this victim home? I know that Don did so for the first time, outside of when we brought April home, a year or so ago and Master flipped. Then Leo did once or twice when he came across people simply too damaged to not be taken care of.

I think even Mike brought home some Streetwalker once to keep her away from her pimp for a night or two. That one didn't go over well at **all**.

I did get to lead an interesting talk we had with Mike to explain what it was that she did on the streets, though.

That was fun.

But this one is different, and I know if I bring this one home there will be so much crap said.

Do I really have a choice, though? As I pick up this one I can see the dire need for medical attention. Home is so close… I could get this bandaging and stuff done quick enough to stop the bleeding. It'll all be simple enough.

I pick up the limp form and begin to make my way through the alley and toward our manhole.

It keeps rushing through my head that we had had a conversation about this sort of situation just the other day.

"Talked to your girlfriend yet, Mike?" I asked snidely. It was my question every time he was down in the dumps.

Lara Strong, the Streetwalker, had taken quite an unappreciated liking to my little bro. It took quite a bit of time for us to keep her from wandering through the tunnels in search for our home and her gentle, blue eyed savior.

Mike laughed. "Not yet."

"We still talking about Mikey's Street**stalker** again?" Don joined in the jesting.

"Oh, like you didn't have any trouble with Marion, Donny," I retorted sharply. I grin at his automatic, disgruntled face at the mention of the woman he had saved. "I woulda been nicer to her, if I were you. She wasn't half bad lookin'. And she was without a doubt classier than Lara."

"I can't believe we're still talking about these girls," Leo snapped. He crossed his arms and glared at me accusingly for beginning this little quarell.

I laughed, Leo never could scare me with his little "looks."

"I can't believe you're acting like Mr. Innocent over there," I had shot back. "You might as well be the Big Boy on Campus. None of the ladies you bring home can seem to resist you!"

Leo pulled a face in a failed attempt to keep his composure. His cheeks were lit to an embarrassing pink hue and Mike and Don both joined me in laughing at our brother's humiliation. He snarled and grit his teeth more and more as we continued our mad laughter.

"Those were situations that could **not **be helped, thank you!" he snapped.

"Aw, just ignore him, Leo," Mike laughed. "He's just jealous."

It was then my turn to have rosy cheeks, much to their amusement. "Jealous? Of what? The fact you guys seem to draw in trouble like the Three Stooges? I don't think so! As far as I'm concerned I'm the only fortunate one of this group!"

Mike put his hands on his hips and leaned forward, grinning wildly like the Cheshire Cat. "Raphie's just mad because he can't play savior and walk away the heart of his rescued love!"

I laughed. "Yeah, right. Forget you, Mikey. I'm not going to go Green Eyed Monster on you all because I don't have some klutzy human in distress melting over me."

When I walked away from that somewhat-joking argument that day I both meant what I said and didn't all at the same time. Shell, it seems a little cliché, I'll admit, but sometimes I'd like for playing Hero to come out with a reward, a kiss on the cheek for thanks or really much of anything to be honest, some sort of thankful affection.

If for nothing else than to keep Mike from getting bragging rights to my face…

Sighing, I approach our lair entrance and I adjust the deadweight in my arms. I'd like for my day to come when I have someone to take home, save their life, and receive their shell shocked attachment to me. There's another thing I'd like, though.

I'd like for my first "Take Home" Rescue to not end up like this…

I enter the lair and can immediately fill their eyes upon me. Hollow stares. Mike grins as he sees I'm carrying a limp form toward the infirmary. The grin subsides for a moment as he sees that the shoes on the feet are the furthest things you can get from heels.

Then the grin becomes wider.

I lay out the victim on the mattress and immediately begin to rip off the sleeve from the injured arm. I can hear the others come in curiously, filing in and repressing the laughs in their throats.

"Say a word, Mike, and I **swear** to you it will be your last," I snort as I begin wrapping the wounds of the injured man.

"That's a very interesting damsel you have there, Raphael," Don dared to quip.

"That goes for you, too, Don!" I snap as I toss a bloody sleeve at them.

"You couldn't get to a hospital or something, Raph?" Leo continues the prodding, I can sense the amusement in his voice. I could punch him and the others out right then and there. My face feels like it's burning already.

I get up after a few quick bandages are slapped on his more serious wounds and glower at my brothers. Mike his holding his hands over his mouth while he nearly doubles over from his suppressed laughter. Don is leaning on his Bo with a chuckle trapped in his tightly pressed lips. Leo is merely standing there with a cooled expression and a smock smirk over his mouth as he folds his arms over his chest.

"Well, let's just say it," I hiss. "Big Ol' Raph has saved a **dude!** Whoop-de-frickin'-doo!"

Michelangelo releases his laughter and nearly falls back on the floor.

"Can it, Mike!" I hiss. "You guys honestly think only women get in trouble on the streets? Frickin' idiots!" I growl the last part as they all begin laughing at my excuses. I swear my face has to be as red as my mask by now. "Screw all of you!"

With that I throw the bandages at Don, he's better at medic crap anyway, and head out to go to my room.

Never before have I wished for a more cliché moment…

Until now…

…

A/N: While I have used the "save damsel in the alley" approach many times before, I do find it humorous how much this cliché happens to be used. Just poking some fun ;P

Hope you enjoyed!


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